A view from a roof in Port au Prince


Not All Times Are Good Times

Haiti is wearing on me. I'm tired and trying to fight a cold/virus. I miss my family and the normal flow of life back home.

Last weekend I went to the marriage of one of my best friend Evens. Ever see the movie My Best Friend's Wedding? I felt a tinge of that. Like someone might be stealing a best friend of mine and one of the last good guys out there. I made myself stop being selfish and didn't think about it again. The wedding was beautiful. I think the most beautiful wedding I have ever seen. Part of that beauty must have come from the joy in both the bride and grooms eyes. Evens teared up during the ceremony. It was so sweet!  The wedding also posed a situation that I didn't know I was going to face and didn't realize I would have such a hard time facing. Almost all of my ex-boyfriend's family was there. Not just the ones from Haiti, but ones from Florida flew in. I was so happy to see all these people I once considered my own family. It's hard to stop seeing it that way. They never hurt me, I hold nothing against them. Yet, at the same time, everything is different and we are no longer the way we were. 

Leogane has turned into a bit of a ghost town for me. It haunts me. I used to travel to and from Leogane and over the years it was always the same. I came back to Leogane this time and everything has changed. No boyfriend, two of my closest friends there are married, I don't know any of the students in the nursing school anymore because all of the ones I knew graduated, I don't know many of the children at the orphanage anymore because many new children have been admitted in the past years. The ones I did know are now older and do not remember me. By the end of my short stay in Leogane I was really ready to get back to Milot, where I knew everything would be the same as I left it a couple days ago. I would have my place there, my friends, my community. 

I'm back in Milot now. I was happy to see my friends here. I love how word of mouth travels here. If you want someone (or everyone) to know something, just tell one person. Everyone knew I had been in Port au Prince for the weekend and asked me about it when I came back. It amuses me every time! The med students have been here for 6 weeks and now are in their last days here. They have been a lot of fun to hang around and I've gotten to teach them some nursing skills such as inserting IVs. They leave mid-next week. Oscar, my main friend here also leaves to visit home tomorrow. 

Last night I visited Michelet for the first time in over a week. I was so happy to see him. Sadly, he looks the same size and now he has a bad rash on his skin. I'm going to look for some creams to bring his family. Good news is, that the dad reported to me that the mom has been doing really good on the medication we gave her and that she doesn't have sundowner's symptoms at night and has not had  any more seizures since starting the meds. He was so happy to tell me this news and I was really happy to hear it! I gave him another prescription and some money to buy the next month's pills.

This week I've been working in the ER again. It's been hard to work while fighting sickness. I get really tired easily and constantly have to blow my nose ( and no there are not Kleenex boxes around). I stuff my pockets with Kleenex and when that runs out, I resort to using gauze. This week I learned how to drain an abscess and insert a straight cath. I see new things every day in the ER and that is why I love it so much. I'm constantly learning and I have some really patient doctors and nurses to learn from. I'm learning to have more respect for the Haitian nurses too. I think I saw them at too far of a distance before. The more time I spend with them, the more impressed I am at how intelligent they are and how they care for their patients. I think before I was seeing them through American eyes and was being culturally ignorant. 

I just got news that my grandpa fell and broke his hip. I'm not sure what that means for him, but I'm hoping he's strong enough to get past this. He has been through so much, I am amazed that he keeps bouncing back.   I have a short term job filming for a law firm in a suit against meat factories I'm going back to the states for a week for in North Carolina and while I'm there I'm going to visit home at the same time. I'll be gone for about 2 weeks total. I am counting down the days until I get to go back. 10 days!

Some pics from the wedding: