Only Time

 It always amazes me when I start out to write a new bog post and realize it has been over a month since my last one. "A month has passed already?" I think to myself. I mean, I'm here for 12 months, and just like that I lived out nearly 10% of it? Wow.

I've been back in Haiti for about a month. I visited home and did a small side job in North Carolina. I came back to Haiti absolutely refreshed. It was like coming here for the first time to move in again. One month later, I am happy to say that I'm still riding on that Haiti high.

The biggest event since I've been back was definitely Hurricane Isaac, which caused quite the commotion in trying to prepare for a natural disaster. We were hit with heavy rains, but spared the torrential winds and downpour that hit Port au Prince and the south of Haiti. My friends in Port au Prince experienced some scary nights while the hurricane passed them, but I'm happy to report that everyone I know was kept safe. I know not all of Port au Prince was so lucky.. many tent cities were destroyed by the winds and rain.

On a lighter note, I've started back into running. There have been a couple of avid runners volunteering here so my mornings now start with a 6am run through the countryside or mountains. I really enjoy it, especially my chocolate banana protein shake I treat myself to after every run! The trails that used to kill me, I now find myself adding extra loops onto for a longer run. I feel stronger and healthier and I sneak peaks at my biceps to check if they're any bigger from my pushups ;) Not quite yet...

I'm still spending the majority of my nursing time in the Emergency Room, but these past couple weeks there have been some interesting opportunities for me to get involved with. Last week we had a laproscopic surgery team here and I watched several surgeries. I learned about intubation and watched closely as the anesthesiologist performed it. I hope to try it myself on a patient the next time we have a surgical team here. I also had hands-on experience with sutures. I feel much more comfortable with this skill now and I have a lot of fun doing it. I love the transformation of a dirty, messy wound into something clean and neat. It looks so much better after a little cleaning and stitching.

Last week we had a professional journalist and photographer here. He is working on some pieces for the hospital's website and magazine. One of his projects was to follow me to Michelet's home to get some footage to go along with the article I wrote on him (the magazine will be published later this month). It was so much fun to bring the photographer along on my adventure and an honor that he could capture some of these moments for me! I will post the link to the article and videos when they are finished.

 This week we have a respiratory therapist team here and I've been sitting in on lectures. Yesterday I learned more about using ventilators. The once frightening and complex machine is starting to feel less intimidating to me. Now I just have to learn how to turn the obnoxious alarms off! Today I'm learning about respiratory infections, specifically RSV and bronchiolitis and how to care for a patient fighting this sickness.

My Kreyol is coming along and I can easily carry on conversation. I've gotten to the point that I can understand all or most of what the patients tell me about their medical conditions and sometimes I help translate for the other American volunteers. I'm still practicing understanding when people speak quickly or when the eldery speak- those are the two most difficult situations for me.

I don't think I've mentioned it yet... it is HOT here. This past month has definitely been the hottest of my time here. I find myself napping at lunch time and am thoroughly exhausted at the end of the day, all of which I attribute to the this hot, muggy weather. The good thing is that it still cools of pretty nicely at night so it's comfortable to sleep. I think the temperature drops a little in October or November. Honestly though, I had heard so many complaints about the summers here and I'm happy to see that I made it through it and it's really not all that bad! I'll take a hot summer like this over a wintry Minnesota day easily :)

I'm starting to consider my next steps after this year. I've been presented with some really great opportunities in various hospitals around the US. This year has really opened a lot of doors for me. It's interesting though, because as exciting as new opportunity sounds to me,  I'm not sure I'm ready to leave Haiti. It has taken me SO long to get to where I am. So many sacrifices, embarassing moments, hard and lonely moments, confusing or stressful moments... and here I am and it's finally all coming together and I'm getting this whole life-in-Haiti thing down. Can I really pack up now?  That's the question on my mind. I still have time to think about it. I'm not stressed about it, I'm just curious about what it would look like to stay longer.. so I'll end my blog post with  that unanswered question. I'll just let it hang there in suspense and maybe next time I come around to blogging I'll have some more thoughts or answers. For now, I'm content with knowing where I'll be today, tomorrow, next week and next month, and I'm happy to know that place is Milot, Haiti.


A photo taken while I was visiting Michelet's family. His mom and dad are front center.

A view from the top of the mountain. Haiti is so beautiful.

Feed the hungry, clothe the naked

I've acquired a new posse. Today our bonds grew deeper and stronger.

I walk the same dirt path almost daily to the little town a mile and half away. My typical walk includes several kids yelling and pointing at me because I am white. They are fascinated. They run to me barefoot and usually naked or missing several key pieces of clothing. They would also like a piece of candy or dollar and figure maybe they can squeeze one out of me. So I guess I'm a bit of a hopeful sign, because often times I do have candy. A few boys stick by me after the candy is gone, come to hold my hand and walk with me even when I don't have anything to give them. Last week I started carrying a frisbee with me on my walks and we play frisbee as we walk the path together. Today a teenage girl joined us. She knew my name and I vaguely remembered meeting her on this path before. She claimed a spot on my left side and left the little boys to share my right side. Our fingers locked together as we held hands and conversation flowed freely. She told me that she does manicures and pedicures and we planned that one day I will bring my laptop to her home and we can watch a movie together. She is happy-go-lucky, as thin as a rail, has a beautiful smile and is kind.

We now had 4 in our group, and with me this made 5. The kids are really good at sharing. They took over carrying my purse and carrying my frisbee. They would pass out candy to other kids and make sure each person had one piece. They shared the frisbee with the kids we walked by. They asked me where I was headed and when I told them, they said they would walk the whole way. I knew the walk, my visit to Michelet's home, and  then my walk home takes quite a lot of time. It shouldn't surprise me anymore, but they didn't even have to tell a parent or anyone where they were going. Only the oldest girl had sandals on. The others walked barefoot on the rocky road that I sometimes stumbled on even with my sandals sturdily guarding my feet. When we arrived to Michelet's house, the sight of his mother horrified me. I don't know if my words do justice to what I experienced today. Michelet's mom has been very sick the past few days. She is completely out of it- no speaking or eating. She lies lifeless. The only sign of life are her blinking eyes and rising chest as she breathes. I saw her like this two days ago and gave the dad money to bring her on a moto to a hospital. I'm not sure what happened, but today she was back home, but not any better.

I walked into their home as I always do. I usually look for Michelet first and scoop him into my arms to hold him.  The first sight upon entering the room was the mom lying on the mud floor of the hut, almost naked, spare her underwear. She was covered head to toe in dirt and she had clearly soiled herself. She was all alone in the room. Her mouth was full of dirt and mosquitoes were flying around her eyes and making their way into her open mouth. I couldn't believe she was lying here alone when she lives with so many sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews and her mother-in-law. Why wasn't anyone helping her? They family explained that she would not stay in bed that she had already been bathed twice that day.  I asked for the gloves I had brought them a few days ago. I put them on and my new teenage friend put on a pair too. I said we needed to give Michelet's mom another bath. She was filthy and deserved more respect then this. It was not a pleasant experience. Her body was dead weight and we had to pick up every pound on our own to move her body. We scrubbed and cleansed. Her 70 something year-old mother in law helped, but the rest of the crowd just stood and watched. For the sake of dignity I asked that if they were not helping that they would not stand and stare, but my pleas made no difference.

Michelet's mom screamed, then broke into a hysterical laugh. Not the joyful kind of laugh, but the terrifying, evil type of laugh. There was dirt in her mouth that seeped through her missing teeth. I hoped I wasn't exposing the kids to something more than they could handle. The neighbors and kids that she lives with laughed at her and mocked her as she howled and cackled. I told the kids I came with not to laugh and they listened and continued helping me. I asked the others to stop laughing. That if they were sick like this, they would want people to stop laughing and to help them instead. It made me sad about the Haitian culture. We dried her body and put on clean underwear and a clean dress, laid out a new sheet on the floor and placed her head on a pillow. I left them with a plate of food and instructed the grandma to feed the smallest kids the meat. I had only eaten half of my lunch  and skipped out on eating meat so that I could save the rest of my food for them. Funny how in the US, we were all raised hearing the cliche "what about the starving kids in Africa?" when we wasted food. Now it's so much more practical. Every time I eat less or waste less, it means I can give more to one of the hungry kids or families that lives right outside my gates. Imagine that.

We walked back the same way we started the afternoon- hand in hand and taking breaks along the way to throw the frisbee or pass out more candy. The boys were trying to teach me a song in Kreyol. The kids had given their whole afternoon to helping a family they didn't know, to holding my hand and to supporting me as I acted on a conviction I had in my heart to help a sick person. I am so proud of my friends :)

My friend Kervens, who accompanies me on my walks :)