The Secrets of Helping Others

I'm still learning about how to live among the poor. The biggest challenge is to keep loving them and keep caring about them each day. They don't go away. They are always at my gate, they always walk alongside me to and from work or hang around outside of any restaurant I go to, they wait at the airport for the sight of the car I ride in and rush to open my door for me. They see hope in me solely because of the color of my skin and it's not easy to live up to the expectations they have for me. They want a solution to their problems, they want a chance at a better life, they would like a job so they can provide for themselves.

In my past I had experience with beggars every now and again when I'd be in certain neighborhoods in Minneapolis. My upbringing taught me to lock the car doors in those neighborhoods and not make eye contact with the people holding their signs on the corner. There was an un-stated, but strongly felt sense that they should be doing something to help themselves and it was not my responsibility to help them. This mentality has been hard to shake in Haiti. It's true I came to help the Hatians, but it's easier to decide the way I want to help and to ignore the rest of the people. To have a very narrow view on who to help because the real life picture is too big and overwhelming. God has really been working on my heart for this. Sometimes before I go to the airport, I consciously choose not to bring any money so that I will not feel bad when I tell the kids that I have nothing to give them. That's what my flesh tells me to do and that's what I think I want to do. But usually I reluctantly grab a handful of one dollar bills and stuff them into my pocket. A couple days ago I was at the airport again and I had a bunch of kids come over and clean the mini-bus we drove in. They picked up the trash inside the car and scrubbed the outside. There were 5 or 6 kids in all. While they were cleaning one of them said something to me in Kreyol that I didn't quite catch. He repeated it for me in English " God is really going to bless you. You help us and give us a job." It made me smile, and then feel guilty that I almost didn't bring money for them that day. I guess those few words put everything back in perspective for me, and yeah.. it also made me feel like the kids appreciate what I'm trying to do for them. I said "thanks" and sat in my school bus seat really moved by the child's words. It's all about Jesus anyways. I help them cause I love Jesus and He tells me to help the poor. And they see that I'm helping them and they know Jesus sent me to them. I didn't even need to whisper His name... His movements were loud enough to speak for themselves.

Something exciting has happened... I didn't even ask, and people have started funding me to be able to do awesome things such as feeding the street kids and helping out other people I see in need. I've sent two kids back to school after their parents couldn't pay for their last trimester of school, given the kids at the airport a job every time I see them, paid for medical bills and medication for a family that couldn't afford it, and I have a free community clinic planned  for July 14th that was fully funded before I ever asked for a dime. Tonight I was able to support a local highschooler who spent months on a painting he would sell in hopes of having enough money to pay for a test he needs to take to apply for college. I tried to encourage our volunteers to buy the painting, but it was too expensive. I negotiated a little bit on the price and then bought the painting. Not for my sake or because I wanted a new painting.. but for his sake. He worked hard and for an honest cause. I'm trying to learn the art of helping others. I want to do it the right way. I want to be helping them in the long run... right now I see the easiest way is to give them small jobs. Sometimes I don't need their help, but I get creative in finding ways the Haitians can help me so that they can learn to work for what they want. I have a special heart for kids so they are my main target population, but I try to listen to everyone. Sometimes I buy a plate of food for the disabled and the elderly without anything in return.. those are some that I cannot think of a job for yet, but do not want to ignore. The interesting part of it all is that I always, ALWAYS feel joy after giving. I never miss the money or even think about it once it is spent. It is so right to help the poor. There is something inside of us that lies and makes us think that we shouldn't help other people and if we listen then we miss out on blessing others and increasing our own happiness.

The original painting done by the high school student. It is beautiful and intricate!

Giving to the poor is more impacting on the wealthy than on those in need. Sometimes the giver is more in need of giving than the needy is in receiving.

Feed the hungry, clothe the naked

I've acquired a new posse. Today our bonds grew deeper and stronger.

I walk the same dirt path almost daily to the little town a mile and half away. My typical walk includes several kids yelling and pointing at me because I am white. They are fascinated. They run to me barefoot and usually naked or missing several key pieces of clothing. They would also like a piece of candy or dollar and figure maybe they can squeeze one out of me. So I guess I'm a bit of a hopeful sign, because often times I do have candy. A few boys stick by me after the candy is gone, come to hold my hand and walk with me even when I don't have anything to give them. Last week I started carrying a frisbee with me on my walks and we play frisbee as we walk the path together. Today a teenage girl joined us. She knew my name and I vaguely remembered meeting her on this path before. She claimed a spot on my left side and left the little boys to share my right side. Our fingers locked together as we held hands and conversation flowed freely. She told me that she does manicures and pedicures and we planned that one day I will bring my laptop to her home and we can watch a movie together. She is happy-go-lucky, as thin as a rail, has a beautiful smile and is kind.

We now had 4 in our group, and with me this made 5. The kids are really good at sharing. They took over carrying my purse and carrying my frisbee. They would pass out candy to other kids and make sure each person had one piece. They shared the frisbee with the kids we walked by. They asked me where I was headed and when I told them, they said they would walk the whole way. I knew the walk, my visit to Michelet's home, and  then my walk home takes quite a lot of time. It shouldn't surprise me anymore, but they didn't even have to tell a parent or anyone where they were going. Only the oldest girl had sandals on. The others walked barefoot on the rocky road that I sometimes stumbled on even with my sandals sturdily guarding my feet. When we arrived to Michelet's house, the sight of his mother horrified me. I don't know if my words do justice to what I experienced today. Michelet's mom has been very sick the past few days. She is completely out of it- no speaking or eating. She lies lifeless. The only sign of life are her blinking eyes and rising chest as she breathes. I saw her like this two days ago and gave the dad money to bring her on a moto to a hospital. I'm not sure what happened, but today she was back home, but not any better.

I walked into their home as I always do. I usually look for Michelet first and scoop him into my arms to hold him.  The first sight upon entering the room was the mom lying on the mud floor of the hut, almost naked, spare her underwear. She was covered head to toe in dirt and she had clearly soiled herself. She was all alone in the room. Her mouth was full of dirt and mosquitoes were flying around her eyes and making their way into her open mouth. I couldn't believe she was lying here alone when she lives with so many sisters, brothers, nieces and nephews and her mother-in-law. Why wasn't anyone helping her? They family explained that she would not stay in bed that she had already been bathed twice that day.  I asked for the gloves I had brought them a few days ago. I put them on and my new teenage friend put on a pair too. I said we needed to give Michelet's mom another bath. She was filthy and deserved more respect then this. It was not a pleasant experience. Her body was dead weight and we had to pick up every pound on our own to move her body. We scrubbed and cleansed. Her 70 something year-old mother in law helped, but the rest of the crowd just stood and watched. For the sake of dignity I asked that if they were not helping that they would not stand and stare, but my pleas made no difference.

Michelet's mom screamed, then broke into a hysterical laugh. Not the joyful kind of laugh, but the terrifying, evil type of laugh. There was dirt in her mouth that seeped through her missing teeth. I hoped I wasn't exposing the kids to something more than they could handle. The neighbors and kids that she lives with laughed at her and mocked her as she howled and cackled. I told the kids I came with not to laugh and they listened and continued helping me. I asked the others to stop laughing. That if they were sick like this, they would want people to stop laughing and to help them instead. It made me sad about the Haitian culture. We dried her body and put on clean underwear and a clean dress, laid out a new sheet on the floor and placed her head on a pillow. I left them with a plate of food and instructed the grandma to feed the smallest kids the meat. I had only eaten half of my lunch  and skipped out on eating meat so that I could save the rest of my food for them. Funny how in the US, we were all raised hearing the cliche "what about the starving kids in Africa?" when we wasted food. Now it's so much more practical. Every time I eat less or waste less, it means I can give more to one of the hungry kids or families that lives right outside my gates. Imagine that.

We walked back the same way we started the afternoon- hand in hand and taking breaks along the way to throw the frisbee or pass out more candy. The boys were trying to teach me a song in Kreyol. The kids had given their whole afternoon to helping a family they didn't know, to holding my hand and to supporting me as I acted on a conviction I had in my heart to help a sick person. I am so proud of my friends :)

My friend Kervens, who accompanies me on my walks :)